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The poems of Bernice Wood
I take liberty and poetic license
To make my jottings make some sense
Do me just a very small favor
Smile when you point out a error.

*New Poems

Home

Family
Debbie
Indiana in January
Happy Belated
     Birthday to
     Brent
The Big Surprise

Friends
To Dr. Hipp
Peggy
School Nurse

Funnies
Shopping
Punctuation

Hopes for 2007

Feeling Old
My Addiction
Teachers
King and Queen

Faith
Overkill
On the Brighter
     Side
This is My Story

From the Past
In the Spring
My Mother's Apron
The Forties

Fun
Levitation
*New Use For Corn
Spring
That Darn Cat
 

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Poems about Family

Nursing Home
The thing we dreaded happened today
Adron is in the Nursing Home to say
I had no notion
That could arouse so much emotion
The sitter we have had for a while
Went along to make him smile
She just called to tell me
All went well as could be

One Daughter-Two Daughter-in-Laws
One daughter and two daughter-in-laws
They deserve a big round of applause
They are like the three musketeers
On every occasion through the years
They join hands and get the job done
At the same time always have a lot of fun
Whatever happens down the road
They will be there to share the load

Registered Nurse
Granddaughter Marni is now an RN
She took it all right on the chin
A rewarding career in many ways
Along with a few definite nays
Sick people are usually not in a happy mood
Say and do things that are downright rude
A registered nurse goes well with being a mother
To her family and friends she will be very popular
Marni learned a lot about how to pass
She passed bed pans, food trays, pills and tests with class

Family Car
Your Dad was a Ford man
You were all very aware of that
They gave him a job when jobs were hard to find
To buy any other make never crossed his mind
We bought a new car every three years
There was never any discussion as the time to buy drew near
I might have a choice of color
As to make there was no other
As long as he can survive
There will be a Ford car in our drive

Greg
Grandson Greg is what is called a straight shooter man
He can always prove that he can
He shoots basketballs, golf balls, deer and pool
He is not so keen about staying in school
He once won a car shooting basketballs
And always has deer meat in his deep freeze
He also likes to just shoot the breeze
He now has three sons of his own he is training to be
Straight shooters just like he
My prayer is that it will never be necessary
To use those skills in the military

Hunter
We have a great grandson whose name is Hunter appropriately
That name fits him to a T
Wherever he goes he takes it all in
His Mom and Dad are both grads of Texas A&M
That will likely be the first big hurdle for him
After finishing that event
He may become our president

What I Did This Summer
It was a quiet summer at the Woodshed
Nothing exciting it might be said
Then came the phone call that caused me spin
Granddaughter Marni is expecting twins
Mid winter will have us on needles and pins
Till we know it all went well
By then I will have much more to tell

Golf
The Senior Living Compound
Adjoins the Country Club grounds
If I am ever hit by a golf ball accidentally
I will be teed off naturally
Bit it could be my own son or grandson
Having their favorite fun
Headlines in The Daily Times
Son hits mother with golf ball on number nine

To Laura
Last night I checked The Wood Shed
Before going off to bed
I found all my poems right up to date
As an editor you are first rate
Maybe my poem group would like to see
What you do to all my poems, it's free
http://woodshed.beachcombs.com 

Sons and Daughter
We have sons and we have a daughter
Being close to them has been our greatest honor
We wait for their calls or knock at the door
They are always here if we need more
I hope that we were as helpful to them growing up
As they are to us growing old

Christmas
I have never ridden and I can honestly say
In an open one-horse sleigh
I prefer a deluxe van
The doors open and close by the driver man
Bells will ring until you fasten the seat belt thing
We will go where ever we are told
Even if the weather is cold
We will all be together for a very MERRY CHRISTMAS

On Campus at Purdue
I got a  taste of night life Saturday night
Our family on campus must have been quite a sight
In their Grupo shirts and glow-in-the-dark the dark jewelry
There was no doubt who we came to see
We came to see Beto and hear his band
There was no sitting still nor falling asleep
When they started their Latino beat
Beto's talent on the rhythm guitar
Made him stand out as the star
I stumbled in home at 2 a.m.
And still made it to church just on time

Debbie
Our year-old great granddaughter was here for two weeks
We sure miss those big blue eyes and chubby cheeks
She charmed all of us
With her little miss personality plus
Her little squeal every time we met
Was the nicest compliment we could ever get
Now once again she is far far away
We think about her every day

Indiana In January
It's been a busy week at Lake Sullivan.
We have seen old friends and had lots of fun.
Dave has been at home resting up for a new job in mid-February.
We braved the cold, cold weather of January.
Went to Winslow and took a tour around the town
Some of the places where we once lived are very run-down.
Not many people that we know
But lots of memories in the snow.
Went to see Erma at her assisted living facility in Evansville.
She seems happy and content where she can come and go at will.
The weather's been unusually frigid
But that's not kept us from enjoying our visit.
Adra's been here for several days
The Woodshed was her dwelling place.
Driving back to Texas tomorrow
Where it's warmer and no threat of snow.
It's been nice to have this time together.
Even though we didn't like the weather.

Happy Belated Birthday to Brent
In your grade school autobiography
You said you were the dumb one of the family
You are proof positive that you don't have to be a college grad
To be a great husband and dad
Your six grandchildren think you are something special
Your parents think you turned out just swell

The Big Surprise
Adra and Larry arrived as planned
We were expecting to see a lot of pictures of Debbie Anne
What did our wondering eyes behold
In walked Laura and her baby a few days old
Have we ever been having fun
Showing her off to everyone
They are leaving tomorrow for home in Texas
Laura and Debbie will fly to Canada in two weeks
Some wishes do really come true
This has been a week filled with blessings anew

Happy Birthday Adra
This week my only daughter will be 63
However could that be
She was born with a pioneering spirit
Have no idea where she got it
Because of her open door policy
She has friends that seem like family
Her door is always open and her Bible too
She could organize any event and has done quite a few
If we could have lived close it would have been nice
We keep informed by phone which is nice

Grupo Fantasma
Marni's husband plays guitar in a Texas Band
They are on tour throughout the land
So she flew in and they met at Dave's home on the lake
They all needed to stop for a break
A break for them was a break for us
We don't see Marni nearly often enough
Dave got to practice his skills as host
It's hard to say who enjoyed it most

Family Pride
One of our own is now a celebrity
Emily has the lead role in a Civil War documentary
February 12th we see the Premier
At an Indy theatre
We will go I guess
Totally ignoring the price of gas
Emily's courage is very rare
We'll all be there

Just Kidding
If I could choose what my next life might be
I would like to be a pet dog of Dave and Debbie's
They would know when I need to go out
When I'm hungry, when I need to pout
I could go fishing with Dave in his boat
Wear my sweater when it's cold
We could go to his parents' house in town
His dad would scratch my belly up and down
When they go to work I would sleep in my pen
At night they would let me sleep with them

A 2005 Texas Christmas
It took two days in the car to get to Texas -
for a Gierhart family Christmas.
Chris flew in the Prowler to Houston,
Hunter came in from Hutto, he's our Texas great-grandson
and made our visit a lot more fun.
There were toys everywhere, but no one seemed to care. 
We were just so happy that he was there.
There were sports on TV back to back constantly,
Euchre game going often at the same hour, changing partners regularly.
At the end with the final score, Chris and I were the champions, who could ask for more.
There was golf for Adron with Ed and Chris,
he impressed them all with his zest.
He had to ride but nevertheless, he had a ball
and the weather was about as good as it gets.
Took the Riverwalk boat ride and saw the Christmas lights.
It's impossible to describe the beautiful sight.
Checked the mobile home where we used to live, saw a For Sale sign next door.
Discovered our dear friend Pete had passed away about a month before.
We were disappointed but not surprised,
since he had reached the age of 95.
Patti, Danese, Adra and I went to the 50's Musical,
some of the old songs were hysterical.
I shopped at Thrift Town because I'm cheap.
Got two outfits for $3 that are really "chic."
Marni and Beto arrived from Austin with their two pets.
Kofi and Lupe are "granddogs" because they don't have any children yet.
Then came the BIG news one early morning,
Laura called with the surprise of the day.
Her pregnancy test was positive,
so the 9th great-grandchild is on the way.
That was the nicest Christmas present ever.
There were calls from home on Christmas Day
to see how we were doing down our way.
There was smoked turkey, homemade noodles and
Adron's favorite sour cream donuts.
The delicious key lime pie was an added bonus.
Adra drove us back to Indiana.
Through burned-out grassland in Oklahoma.
The long trip seemed to go fast
Listened to CD's, satellite radio and counted hawks that we passed.
We're home again and back in the swing while waiting for weather like Texas this spring.

Bowling Night
About a dozen first cousins
Along with some second ones too
While searching for something to do
Had a fun-filled rally
At the local bowling alley
From what I can hear
It was a highlight of their visit here
We really should plan
To come back and do it over again

The Week that Was
Chris and Beto were our special guests
Others came from the north and south, east and west
There were jet skis for the young and restless
Euchre for the old and listless
Funny home movies from years ago
Funny hairdos and out of style clothes
The twins and Tanner were the Woods that were new Woods
Despite a slow start they are so happy and good
Beto's band was a hit at Purdue
Makes me wish I had gone too
Thanks to Dave and Debbie, Brent and Susie
For their friendly open door policy

A Flower For Me
I went to the mother daughter luncheon
Came home with flowers I had won
No I wasn't the oldest mother there
I have a grandson in the militaire

Our Dwelling Place
For 56 years our dwelling place has been on the same spot
Same town, same street, same lot
We enclosed the carport and built on a room
Put new windows all around
They keep out the wind and much of the sound
The tiny sprout we planted is now a giant oak tree
As high in the heavens as I can see
It has given us shade over head
For our home I call the Woodshed

Texas
They say the essence of wit is brevity
So I'll try to shorten my levity

We went to our daughter's in Texas
We were treated like the rich and famous

Sour cream doughnuts and coffee in bed
I mistook coffee mate and used Metamucil instead

Spelling Test
Kyler's grandmother
Now a retired 2nd grade teacher
Asked him how he did on his spelling test
He said it was fine at first
Then he got this horrible look of utter disgrace
He just remembered something he forgot
That end of the sentence question mark

White Christmas
We were not dreaming of such a white Christmas
It  means staying at home for us
The snow is nearly up to our knees
Temperature has fallen to 8 degrees
Our phone is ringing constantly
People checking on the elderly
We are really having lots of fun
Watching an old Hee Haw rerun
MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas
Yes, we are ready for Christmas
We don't make a very big fuss
We plugged in our fiber optic tree
That seemed about enough for me
We don't tread the malls
Or deck the halls
Our children tell us where to show up for the festivities
Six great grandchildren furnish plenty of activities
That's what Christmas is all about
There is no better time, there is no doubt
MERRY CHRISTMAS

Twins
The twins, they are so cute
Which is no longer in dispute
I never thought that I would see
A set of twins in our family
Kyler gave up his only child status
Seems not to be one bit jealous
Make room for Koby, Kenyon, and Kyler too
Those 'Three Musketeers' will entertain you

Open House
We've never had an open house before
If you all come, it can't be a bore
If it rains and the crowd is extra large
We'll just open up the garage!

The Open House was a success
Eighty people, more or less
Friends came from far and near
There were lots of laughs and many a tear
Everyone left in a happy mood
Also with some cake icing blue

A Long Look Back
Our children came for the weekend
Two events to attend
Brent became an alumni Hall of Famer
Adron became a 90 year old timer
The grandchildren got to see each other up close for a change
The daughter-in-laws did the hardest job
Serving cake and punch to the Open House mob
The cards were nice and worthy of mention
One from the White House got our attention
Another was signed by the entire Winslow Christian Church
Hand delivered by Hilary Hurst
Chris sent greeting from his navy ship
Hunter and Shania were in school and missed the trip
Who knows when we'll all be together again
We have lots of pictures to help us recall
One of our nicest weekends of all

Orlando
I made the trip and it was fun
I managed to stay out of the sun
The wedding which was what we went for
Was beautiful and much much more
There was one party after the other day and night
We ate the food and enjoyed each bite
We laughed a lot and cried a little too
Adra fell and her eye turned black and blue
She went to the men's restroom
By mistake I think
Now I'm back at home at the same kitchen sink

More Details
My friends are wondering who got married last weekend
Why did I feel I had to attend
Sheri was Adra's roommate at Indiana State
Her daughter, Jamie, picked Chris for her mate
He is the great-grandson of Erma Bombeck's sister
I had my picture taken with her
Sheri was writing a book that is funny and witty
I'm one of the characters who writes silly ditties
Her house was where we met round the pool
Recalled funny things about home and school
We celebrated my birthday at a Mexican place
We have pictures of me in a sombrero that almost covered my face
To all of Sheri's family I was known as the poet
So I'm really famous and didn't know it
Laura has helped me with the typing
She is also my guide while traveling
All the guests were so nice to know
Just think, I almost decided not to go

Bad Day
Another story about great grandson Kyler
A usually happy kindergartner
Was asked if he was in a bad mood one day
Just to see what he would say
He stomped his foot and replied without thought
NO-----I am NOT

Ellen II
Ellen's granddaughter is Ellen too
She talks so smart to be just two
She fills the house with fun and glee
More entertaining than any TV
She told her mother to call the doctor one day
"Are you sick:" she asked. "What is it?"
Her answer was no, but the sucker-pop was all gone from her last visit.

Nicknames
My mother named me Bernice
That soon became just Niece
I'm Niece to my sister
Aunt Niece to her two daughters
And last but not least
To my husband I'm his dearly beloved Niece

Our Children
We still call our children "our children"
Although each one is now a senior citizen
We call our sons "our boys" although
Their hair is thin and white as snow
Our daughter lives in far off Texas
We are glad "our boys" live close by us
As my vision fades and fades
They make wonderful personal aides

Another Christmas
Another Christmas has come and gone
Another year to reflect upon
Tanner is growing by leaps and bounds
From three to almost twenty pounds
Doug is recovering from his injuries
All the pain will just be memories
Cami had an exciting announcement
There's going to be a blessed event
We pray that peace will come at last
The war will become a thing of the past
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Clocks Galore
One shines the time up on the ceiling
It keeps me company when I'm not sleeping
Atop the TV there's another clock
One more on the coffee pot
Two more on the oven and the microwave
One that chimes above the fire place
One clock for the nearly blind like me
A loud cheery voice says the time hourly
Some find that one an annoying distraction
Have even threatened total destruction
The watch I wear every day
Is hard to see but I wear it any way
Favorite of all is my antique
A locket that is very unique
1896 is inscribed inside
My daughter will some day wear it with pride

Better Late Than Never
On our desk we have a special holder
For mail that needs more attention later
Papers that we don't want thrown away
Or bills we must not forget to pay
Today I went through that list
Saw a wedding card that I had missed
"To Marni and Beto" it said on the outside
And a fifty dollar bill when I looked inside
Bill and Jo were invited but couldn't go
Asked us to to take the card to San Antonio
That was Easter
It's now November
But I rushed to get it in the mail today
Card and money are now on their way

Ginger
Emily works at the Indy Zoo
She's an animal lover through and through
Since she lives in the city all alone
She bought a dog for a safety zone
Ginger could eat off the mantel easily
Fills up the couch and sleeps peaceably
Her looks might furnish protection
But she shakes all over at the mention
Of seeing a kitten or the vet
She's not just a friend but a valuable pet

Lost and Found
So you lost an earring while you were here
We've looked all over every where
Under every pillow and post
Cause it was one you liked the most
Searched the carpet and carpet cleaner
Behind the chair and dresser drawer
I found some socks right where you left 'em
Don't worry, they fit and I can wear 'em
I wore your socks like I said I would
Now my toes are sore-did I hear you say "good"

Halloween
It's all over
Until next October
We were left holding the bags
Bags of candy corn, candy bars, and candy kisses
Just what we need for our diabetes
They carried a bag full of all the loot
One little "devil" said, "I don't want fruit"
That little voice sounded so familiar
I think I'd know just about anywhere
In the other hand I happened to see
A fake little pumpkin to hold the cash
If they weren't so cute, it might seem brash
We'll see them all again next year
With new costumes to fill us with fear

Rhyme or Reason
Sometimes when I wax poetic
I get very apologetic
Laura puts them all in order
Just like a real professional recorder
Could I be wasting her talent and time
When something pops into this head of mine?
Is there any rhyme or reason?
Or is it just for me I'm pleasin'?
How did I get started on this path?
I think it started just for a laugh
That's the only reason I can think of
To be perfectly honest it's what I love

All Our Children - Grand and Great
We have three children--Adra, Brent and Dave
I was the one who gave them those names
They hit it lucky when picking their mates
Their lives so far have been first-rate

Doug ,Greg, Josh and Emily
All share the name of the Wood family
They like sports and live active lives
We see them often--they live real close
Except when Josh is doing his navy chores

Laura, Chris and Marni are Texas Gierhart's
But we take a little credit for their looks and smarts
They are always so far away
We can hardly wait for a holiday

Derek, Megan, Tanner and Kyler are what we
     call our little "Twigs"
They are our entertaining little Sullivan kids
There is another Gierhart whose name is Hunter
He will be a pilot like Chris, his father
Shania is our soon to be adopted Combs
She's far away but we use our e-mails and telephones

Marni's Wedding
It was a once in a lifetime experience
Just the right aura of romance and elegance
The fragrance of flowers filled the air
The music was a family affair
As well as the minister, flower girl and ring bearer
They did it all with style and flair
The bride and groom seemed meant for each other
A happy smile was on the face of each mother
There were toasts to the future by family and friends
One was memorable by a girl who was ten
Strolling singers and a mariachi band
Surprised everyone with an end that was grand

Second Generation
We can hardly remember having a career
Our boys' retirement now is near
We will see them any time of day
Not just on the week-end or a holiday
They can fish and swim, mow and weed
Come by to see what we may need
Give us a push and pat on the back
Tell us we're looking sharp as a tack
They will have lots of time to chat
They are both very good at that
There will be lots of time to relax
No more jobs or income tax

Dandelions
You may think of dandelions as a nuisance
An annoying, fast growing inconvenience
This week they were elevated to best of show
When Kyler helped Grandpa mow
"It's for you Grandma. I picked it."
Now it is my utmost favorite
Since I liked that one so much
He went back out and picked a bunch

Jane
I use the internet for where and when
Find old friends and next of kin
That's how I found my cousin, Jane
Second or third I must explain
She's from another generation
I sure can tell she's my relation
We share memories of days gone by
'Tho she's much younger than I
Makes me pause and think, "Gee whiz
...almost everybody is!"

Hoot
One of my grandkids thought I was a "hoot"
I searched my own slang dictionary
I was so surprised when I checked its root
It means "of little value" or "ordinary"
If that is what they really meant
That's a description I might resent
I thought it meant I was entertaining
I think I'll stick to my own "hoot" meaning

Kyler
When our four year old Kyler begins speaking
The whole family starts listening
What he says and the way he says it
Makes us laugh and worth repeating
We have fun when he comes to visit
We must be ready for his quizzing
He asks such questions as where is
    Santa this time of year?
If he's on vacation, is he drinking beer?

Marni's Wedding
Marni will be a beautiful bride
With handsome Beto by her side
It will be on Easter weekend
Friends and family will attend
This may sound a bit absurd
We'll be celebrating our SIXTY-THIRD

Grandparent's Flag
We have a flag in our picture window
No usual stars and stripes in a row
We have two stars for our two navy men
Yesterday they were just boys around ten
Now doing duty on their ships at sea
Making the world safe for you and me
We await news by e-mail each day
Carefully study each word they say
Prayer in schools may not be allowed
We can pray at home or in a crowd
When we hear that home-coming date
We'll be ready to CELEBRATE

Daisy
Dave and Debbie have a dog named Daisy
She's cute and smart and a little crazy
She's not much bigger than a loaf of bread
But she's the master of their homestead.
Dave has become an animal trainer
The dog is his class act entertainer
Show her a biscuit and in anticipation
She'll do all her tricks in rapid rotation
She seldom barks and never growls
She doesn't shed or chew up the towels
They say that every dog will have its day
This dogs LIFE will be a roll in the hay.

I Wonder
I always wake up very early
Start to wonder and to worry
What's happening on our ships at sea
How long will this conflict be?
Then I wonder about my health
Am I taking care of myself?
Is my blood pressure on the rise
Am I getting enough exercise?
I take my coffee to my Web TV
Check the news and mail for me
There are notes from Josh and Chris
Both are safe and I thank God for this

1st Chronicles
Our days on earth are as a shadow
There is none abiding
My shadow is getting very low
I still have a lot of living
Visiting my children, grand and great
Going to birthdays and eating cake
If I can remember time and date
If they live in town or on the lake

My Website
Laura did this web design
She put my rhymes right online
She was our very first granddaughter
I remember the first time I saw her
We made a trip to England more than once
Where her dad was serving in the Air Force
We talk a lot on our instant messenger
When she's not busy being wife of a minister
She sends us pictures from their home in Canada
Husband Jeff and daughter Shania
I can never thank her enough
For taking time for my silly stuff

Zeke
Zeke is the name of Emily's bird
He makes a noise that sounds like a word
His name is so befitting
Masculine and quite bewitching
But now, he may be called "Peg" or "Meg"
Since the day he laid that egg.

He Cares
My husband is a caring person
That's a fact not just an assertion
When a check that's due is not in the mail
Or when his memory starts to fail
He cares

When the car keys are not on their hook
When there's an error in his check book
If I tell him my purse is I know not where
Or I left my sunglasses way back there
He Cares

When his IU ball team gets defeated
Or his tax forms are not completed
If his golf game is not up to par
Or something goes wrong with his car
He cares
He cares

My Husband - Part Two
My husband is a caring man
All our children are proud of him
He helps them in a million ways
Great grand kids love it when he plays
A game of "old maid" or "go fish"
He serves them root beer whenever they wish.
He takes time to call on a friend
Who's in the hospital trying to mend
He's always cheerful and in a good mood
He's always friendly, never rude
I don't sing his praises as oft as I should
To do without him, I don't think I could
He's someone I count on to be by my side
He's my guardian and my guide.