Just for Fun!
Realization
I agree
with Ogden Nash
You know you are old when every new person
you meet reminds you of some one
in the past
Global Warming
They now know the cause of global warming
It is cow farts at dairy farming!
Election 08
It is
Halloween , decision time is very near
I hope the decision will be very clear
A cliffhanger would be long and more divisive
We need an election that is at least decisive
We have had enough controversy
Whoever wins will need cooperation and Gods mercy
Me
and My WebTV
Me and
my WebTV
We get along famously
I have sent emails to Canada and ships at sea
They send emails right back to me
I don't know the difference between soft and hardware
Actually I don't really care!
Have no idea what a hard drive is
I am not what you call a computer whiz
Often I get a popup that says navigation error
I just go back to Home and start again from there
To keep me going takes lots of paper and ink
My WebTV along with my printer makes me think
Maybe they will help an old woman like me
Be forever young and fancy free
Those
Ties That Bind
I still
like see a man in a suit and matching tie
I have never had to wear one maybe that is why
Preachers and funeral directors are the last
They seem to be a thing of the past
Sometimes wide is the style sometimes narrow is popular
Both kinds hang at the end of the closet in every color
Creative women have made quilts out of old ties
We are keeping ours in case they ever come back in style
Ownership
When
they give an imaginary piece of lint on someone's shoulder a flip
That is they say a sign of ownership
Maybe there was a piece of fluff
Or maybe that person just has dandruff
Some people may just be picky!
School Days 2008
Good ole
modern school days
Reading and Writing and Mathematics
Taught to the tune of computer clicks
You were my handsome baggy paints beau
I was your queen of web cam video
You wrote on my website I love you so our new modern school days
Advice
Always and never are two words you shall always remember
never to use ever
Especially when talking about yourself or the weather
You can hardly ever be really sure about one or the other
Medium
All our
days start the same way
Television just about all day
Fred Allen has his own harsh evaluation
It is called a medium because nothing is ever well done
Opera
Where at
the end of the plot
The star is shot
Instead of bleeding
He keeps on singing
Angry
Al Jaig
said he had not changed his style for twenty years
That was confirmed by all his peers
His style was to get very angry when plans go awry
I know many with that same style
I may even be guilty once in a while
Playing the Game
I
couldn't hit a golf ball if I wanted to
That's something every woman and boy loves to do
Every hole is 4.25 inches they may not know
Because that was the size of drainpipe used to repair a drain many years
ago
Coffee
A cup of coffee is what I get up for
It always helps to get me out the door
It just tastes so good in my housecoat and gown
The aroma fills the house upstairs and down
I get the pot ready the night before
Then all I have to do is pour
Debates
After every political debate on TV
Someone is right there to explain what they said to you and me
Now, there is a brand new advantage
Someone explains their body language
Cookies
I met some friends Sunday afternoon
They said they were coming to see Adron very soon
And I said to bring more cookies, they were great
Then I realized they were not the ones
Who always bring cookies whenever they come
Secrets
When the secret sin of some famous person hits the wires
It goes round the world like wild fire
Seldom do we ever hear on the news
When they discover someone has a secret virtue
Eating Out
Found the Ladies Room and locked the door like a good girl should
Heard a
knock on the door and stayed as quite as I could
But when the next knock came I said loud and clear
There is someone in here!
Pun Contest
A man sent ten entries in an effort to win
No pun in ten did
Morning News
Our economy does not look good
Our dollar is not worth what it should
Cost of living is going up
We are getting less and less bang for our buck
It is probably not any better anywhere in this universe
It is very likely even much worse
So I think this is where I will stay
Right here in the US of A
Believe it or Not
My entry in the Garden Club flower contest was a winner
Not my flower but my container
My picture will appear in the August newsletter
I'll have proof as a gardener I'm getting better
Misnomers
Why is a soldier killed called a casualty
It is really a horrible calamity
Why is the ticket area at the airport called a terminal
Makes me wonder if my trip is final
Popping Corn
Have you ever stopped to wonder
While microwaving popcorn
If you put the top side under
I did that by mistake and now I know
It really does not matter and now you know it is so
Laid Back
You may think my life is pretty forlorn
If I have to write about popping corn
Actually our life is very laid back
Three meals a day plus a morning snack
I play bingo every Saturday and Monday at two
Any other time we would love to see you
Levitation
I have a pleasant recurring dream
It always builds my sagging self esteem
I can climb stairs and hills no matter how steep
Without ever touching the ground with my feet
If that doesn't impress you, maybe this will
I can teach others this new-found skill
All my friends would congregate
I could teach them how to levitate
It was always a big disappointment to wake up and find
Stairs and hills are still hard to climb
New Use for Corn
You have to hoe to the end of the row
A rule all farmers already know
Today it is more important than ever before
Because of Ethanol we need more and more
You have to hoe to the end of the row
Can also apply as you older grow
Find new purpose for those stricken in years
Find new goals as the end of life nears
Spring
Spring has come
Think of all that fun
Golf and all those other sports
Time to get back in those shots
That Darn Cat
I've been feeding my vacation
neighbor's cat
We seem to have bonded right off the bat
She may never get that darn cat back
He rolls over and over at my feet
My lap is now his favorite seat
Getting Ready for Fall
Get out the gloves and ear muffs
Stock up on socks and Kleenex puffs
Wrap up all the green tomatoes
Pick that last red rose
Light the pilot on the new fireplace
Change flannel gowns in for all that lace
Throw an afghan on the back of the couch
Just for that warm and fuzzy touch
Make an appointment for our flu shots
Empty all the flower pots
Change the furnace from cool to heat
Change the linen to a flannel sheet
Put a supply of Halloween treats on the shelves
Get the kind we like ourselves
Find your boots and be ready to go
I hear there's going to be lots of snow!
Parades
Hawaii has its colorful parade of boats
San Antonio has its festive Fiesta floats
Sullivan County now has its own claim to fame
140 happy campers from the park and lake
Drove their flag draped golf carts into the square
It was quite a festive affair
We are now in the Guinness Book
TV cameras came for a look
4th of July will not be complete
Without that golf cart happy meet
New Kind of Wrap
Opening a package is now a big deal
Since they have discovered a new kind of seal
Finger nails or teeth will no longer do the trick
Squeeze wrap seals as tight as a tick
Perfect Happiness
Everyone has their own happiness list
We learn very soon no perfect happiness exists
Enjoy today while there is no sorrow
It may easily come tomorrow
Traffic
I've never really liked to drive a car
If I 'm driving we won't go far
I like to take the road least traveled
Even if it's rough and graveled
Interstates are not for me
There is never very much to see
Eighteen wheelers block the scenery
Blinking police car lights are frightening
Ambulance sirens start me shaking
Country roads are more relaxing
No need to worry about all that merging
Books
A house becomes a home at last
When you move in all your books from the past
The ones you need just for information
Others for their inspiration
Some are favorites of your children
Some are just for recreation
Bibles of many different translations
Some you may have had for generations
The books you line up on your shelf
Reveal a lot about yourself
Books can make us laugh or cry
Make an hour or two fly by
Hoosier Madness
After a few warm days and nights
Hoosiers will rush to their favorite sights
Everyone has their secret ground
Where year after year mushrooms abound
This pleasant madness affects old or young
They all hunt for that succulent sponge
There is no equipment needed
Some of the dangers should be heeded
Ditches to cross that may be deep
Hills to climb that may be steep
I suggest the big stick approach
In case of snakes or poison oak
Some lucky one may find a whopper
Be a hero in the home town paper
There will always be this springtime fuss
As long as there is fungus among us
(A Hoosier: Someone who bounces a basketball
around the Indy 500 looking for mushrooms.)
Poetry
What could be my final donation
To the up and coming generation
We have all kinds of photographs
Some are good for a lot of laughs
They may fade or get thrown away
Or stuffed in a drawer until dooms day
Maybe someone will remember my rhyme
Not forever but for a long long time
