Read an article about Bernice's poems in the Sullivan Daily Times!

New Poems!

Superbowl Sunday

Some people I know bought a new large screen TV
It a digital screen plus high definition the better to see
Every touchdown as plain as could be
Surround sound is nice when the party gets loud
It all works well and they are so proud
The bowls are all filled with dips and chips
Not a single play will be missed

Cyber Space

A young couple moved in the cu de sac
They told me this for a fact
They stay in contact with their family and friends daily
They send messages on Twitter and Facebook faithfully
When they go for their morning jog
They text their friends while they rest on a log
It is a digital world we live in today
But we take time to say hello face to face along the way

Mother Goose 2011

Betty Botter

Betty Botter bought some butter
When she put it in her batter
It made her batter bitter
She threw it out for the birds
They loved it beyond words
Then she found a box of cake mix in her cupboard
It did not make a bitter batter
It made baking a lot easier

Sour Cream Doughnuts

Sour dream doughnuts is our special today
Six for a dollar is all you pay
If you don't have a dollar
Just leave your credit card number

 Mary 

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a little duck
When he dines in puddle or pond
Its bottoms up

Jack

All work and no play
Makes Jack a good employee
All play and no work
Makes Jack an unemployee

 Plumbers

Some mornings seem to start off bad
That was when I used to wake up Dad
This morning the toilet would not flush
The smell was so bad it made me blush
The plumber is the man
If anyone can do it he can
He lifted the lid and saw the problem right away
The plumber is the man

Thanks Jeremy

Recipe

I like recipes with no more than three ingredients
Seems to work fine with my intelligence

Place one Rollo atop one small round pretzel
 Place in microwave for a  few seconds
 Place a pecan half on top of that

You may want to hide these on a high shelf
 And keep them just for yourself

Mother Goose 2011
Swim

Mother may I go out to swim?
Yes my darling daughter
Can't forget your sun screen
Put your earplugs in
Your goggles to protect your eyes
If there should be clouds in the skies
Lightning can be dangerous sometimes
Don't eat just before you jump right in
Have a nice swim

New Year 2011

Christmas is over and done
Time to think up some new year fun
I am thinking about a Pajama with Feet Party
With a big jug of cider handy
Along with lots of chocolate candy
B Y O T P
I realize that the dress code and the weather
May eliminate just about everybody
And I can get to bed by eight thirty

Have I been drinking too much Sprite
Along with all that strawberry chocolate delight?

Sisters

The cryptoquote always says it better than I ever could
This morning was so good
Sisters are a part of childhood which can never be lost
It is the part of the newspaper that I love most

Hear the Bells

Hear the bells hear the bells
Wherever you go
Tramping through the snow
In front of Walmart or at the Mall
Salvation kettles are at them all
Everyone gives so cheerfully
Mothers let their children stuff a doll in with glee
The sound of bells fills the air
Everyone seems so happy while learning to share

Christmas 2010

Christmas is for giving
Whether large or small
Christmas is for forgiving
If we have done anything at all
That we may have hurt another
There is a new year just around the corner
Time to get the house back in order
Promise ourselves to do better
And send everyone a letter

Bragging

Beto's Band Grupo Fantasma was nominated again for a Grammy award
Hunter got honorable mention in the newspaper as an outstanding band member
I rang the bells for the salvation army
It sounded more like tinkle tinkle to me

Hot Springs Reunion

The two back seat boys met Texas sister in Hot Springs
Along with two of her children and three great grand children including twins
We had a ball living like the rich and famous
The house was big enough for all of us
They put me in the master bedroom on the ground floor
It had a Jacuzzi, king sized bed, walk in closet
Who could ask for more
Hunter loved the Billiard room and theater

While the adults played euchre
Watched sports and sent text messages
Chris left early on his way to Afghanistan
The twins entertained as only two year old can
Some time in July we may go back again

The Back Seat Kids

They filled the back seat of the Ford sedan
Now they each have their own family van
Mom, now 92, sits alone in the back seat
Saying--where are we now--when do we eat
The boys, now retired live on the Sullivan lake
They see each other almost daily
To play golf mainly

Autumn Gold
City street sweepers came and swept away the autumn gold
Now the beautiful tees look bleak and cold
No one can tell me where the squirrels go
Their nest are deserted and covered with snow
If you know where they spent their days
Tell me please I pray

Play Days
How many days has my baby to play
Saturday, Sunday, Monday
Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Hop away, skip away,
My baby wants to play
My baby wants to play every day
Day Care will come next it's sad to say
Followed by kindergarten right away
Not many days for my baby to play

Harvesting
The boughs do shake
And the bells do ring
So merrily comes our harvest in
Our harvest in, our harvest in,
We've plowed we've sewed
We've reaped, we've owed
We've got our harvest in.
Now we can take a trip to Spain!

My Maid Mary
My Maid Mary
She works at the Dairy Queen
I ride my bicycle by at ten
Have a drink on my paper route
She knows my name without a doubt
My Maid Mary
Works at he Dairy Queen

Yesterday
Yesterday was just like any other Friday
Except I got a dozen long stemmed roses
Mary Susan got some too
Wasn't that a mice thing for Brent to do to
Roses in October
Never looked so good before

Volunteers
There is a group who deserver our cheers
They are the volunteers
They work all seasons of the year
They are the volunteers
They work just as hard as any of their peers
They are the volunteers
When they come to the end of their years
They can proudly say I was a volunteer

Patience is a Virtue
Patience is a virtue
Virtue is a grace
Grace is a little girl
Who wouldn't wash her face
So her neither washed her eyes and ears
With a shampoo called No Tears

The Good Life
A man needs a good gun, a good horse and a good wife
In order to have a good life
According to explorer Daniel Boone
Today it would be a much different tune
He would need a good car, a good job and a good wife

Goals
My sister and I well remember
Little sermons we got from our mother
Work hard and amount to something
Be lazy and good for nothing
We always wondered what something she had in mind
I ended up writing silly rhymes
We both have great kids and a long happy marriage
That is something in this day and age

Tommy Tucker
Tommy Tucker
Wings for his supper
There is nothing wrong with that
Except that Tom is a college grad
That the economy is that bad

When I Am Gone
When I am gone
I will leave a paper trail about a mile long
A closet jam packed with very nice clothes
Carefully selected from clearance racks,
consignment shop and Goodwill
Drawers full of costume jewelry
Brooches, beads and rings
A big drawer full of generic pills
Known only to Dave who does the refills
Stacks of albums, scrapbooks and souvenirs
Some are full and some bring tears

Jack Spratt
Jack Spratt could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
Jack Spratt
Became an acrobat
His wife became obese

Little Bo Peep
Little Bo Peep
Fell asleep while tending her fathers sheep
Sheep, like we, often go astray
But they will come home to their feeding dish
Looking very sheepish
Wagging their tails between their tired legs

Old Mother Hubbard
Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
To get her doggy a biscuit
When she got there
Her cupboard was bare
Old Mother Hubbard had often been hungry
She knows how it feels
So she shared her meals on wheels

Pappy
Pappy get the grill hot
Pappy get the grill hot
Pappy get the grill hot
We want our steak well done

Pappy turn the grill off
Pappy turn the grill off
Pappy turn the grill off
We all gotta run

Rain
Rain, rain don't stop
Daddy says we need you on his corn crop
Mommy says no more jumping up and down on the bed
She will find us a book to read instead
Rainy, rainy day
Tomorrow we will go back outside to play

Bye Baby Bunting
Bye Baby Bunting
Daddy's gone a golfing
Mommy's goin' shopping
To buy Baby Bunting something
How could we run out of pampers so quick

Co-operation
I have a friend
We need each other
She can't heat and I can't see
She tells me who is talking
And I tell her what they said

Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa Baa black sheep
Do you ever get a little chilly when they take away your coat
They surely said we thank you I should hope
Your master, his dame
And the little boy who lives down the lane
All can stay warm in the rain

Mary- Mary
Mary Mary was quite contrary
But her garden was very extra ordinary
She had veggies all in a row
She shared them with friends who loved her so

Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie was quite a guy
He kissed the girls then sad goodbye
He left them crying until he came again
Georgie Porgie is what we call a ladies man
Then he met a girl named Ann
Now they are making their wedding pans

Mary Had A Little Lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
It won a blue ribbon at the 4H Show
Her progressive teacher invited her to bring it to her school for show and tell
She did her presentation and the lamb behaved so well
They all went home with a story to tell

Rubadub
Rubadub
rubadub
rubadubba
Three women in a sauna
My mommy, Granny and me

Humpty-Dumpty
Humpty-Dumpty was thrown over the wall
He was the object of a national recall
Three score scientists and three score more
Couldn't make Humpty Dumpty safe any more

Three Little Kittens
Three little kittens
They lost their mittens
Soon they began to cry
Now we all know kittens don't wear mittens
They don't even know how to cry
They like to sit on your lap where it's dry
Just stroke their fur
Hold them close and hear them purr

Modern Nursery Rhyme
Jack and Kill went up the hill
That's when they took a spill
Jack fell down and had a concussion
Jill took a tumble during the confusion
She remembered the cell phone she always carried with her every day
Emergency came--- now they are both OK

Tom
Tom the actors son
Robbed a bank and he did run
But he was seen on surveillance tape
Sentenced to ten years in jail
He will get some rehab there
And a jumpsuit to wear

Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blue
Here is some good news for you
Leave the sheep in the meadow
Let the cows eat the corn
Everyone loves the way you blow that horn
You could have a future on TV
You have talent --practice is the key

Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her patio
Eating her burrito
Along came her neighbor
And sat down beside her
He was so handsome and tall
She was not frightened at all

Peter Peter
Peter Peter pumpkin eater
Had a wife but couldn't keep her
He put her in a pumpkin shell
She charged him with spousal abuse
So she shacked up with a bachelor farmer in the dell

There Was an Old Woman
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children until she went to Family Planning
and learned what to do
She is now living in low income housing
And gets food stamps too.

Modern Nursery Rhyme
Old McDonald a farm
hen he started selling burgers and shakes in his front yard
Then he added other clean food and clean rest rooms
Children can see those golden arches from afar
Anywhere they travel around the entire world of ours

Sirens
Sirens make me very uneasy
Could this a friend or one of my family
Is this is the time school buses are in route
Who could I call to find out
Sirens in the middle of the night
Are even harder on your peace of mind
Sirens either night or day
Means help is on the way

Memories
I went to ER for an infection
A cute girl was collecting information
She asked if I remembered her
When was a little girl she was my neighbor
She could still remembered one Halloween
I invited her and her friends to come right in
Then I played the organ for them before
handing out the treats
Moral--------it make take a long time
But your past will catch up with you

Pills
If you can take an aspirin
At a water fountain
You deserve to get well right away
What else need I say

Tact
Tact is the art of making guests feel at home
When that is where you wished they were
But if no one ever came
Every day would be the same
If you were thinking of coming to visit any time
I am in apartment number nine

Beat the Heat
The heat is almost unbearable
We are told to stay in where it is comfortable
Drink plenty of fluids---I can do that
Check on the old folks you may be concerned about
They will remember no doubt
Avoid all strenuous activity
That will be very easy for me

The End of the Day
It was almost the end of an almost perfect day
I sat on the porch and listened because my hearing is OK
Church bells were chining so peacefully
High school band was practicing so happily
In the ball field down the street
They sounded great and very upbeat
Cicadas were doing whatever it us they do with their wings
I came inside and the weatherman who knows these things
Said there was storm on its way
maybe tomorrow or the next day

The Last Hurrah
The parties are over
Next ones planned already for November
We want to go back to Hot Springs again
Meeting half way is a very good plan
Time flies and if we all stay well
We will meet and have more stories to tell

Family Fun
It is a week for fun and get togethers
Lots of food and laughter
Everyone was often distracted by something in their hand
They were were getting texts from a friend
Every one had one but my sister an me
We have no cell phone because we can't see
Our family has a lot of comedians
Who love jokes and puns
They love to talk about their childhood
And their dear old Dad
Ellen came with a birthday cake
Adra's birthday is today
Chris flew in to make a perfect holiday

Error
My computer said I made a navigation error
And I had not been anywhere
The punishment is not too severe
I must be more careful where I steer
I can never figure what I do wrong
I just go back home where I belong

Personal Maid
My eyesight continues to fade
I may need a personal maid
Someone to check for food stains on clothes
Check for runners in my hose
Help me find the things I have stashed away
Clean up the spills I make about every day
The pay would not be great
I may forget to pay you on the right date
No wild parties while working
No coughing, sneezing or snoring
If you want to make an application
Call me at my institution

Phone Calls
This may come as no surprise at all
I did not get one phone call
Maybe it was job security or lack of it
That made everybody so hesitant
Not a single volunteer
I am on my own as long as I am here
I do have a few very good friends
Who tell me when something is amiss

Long Ago
How did poets write poetry a long time ago
With only a scratchy pen and scroll
No keyboard with Enter and Delete
No spell check or email delivery
No storage folder
Not even a printer
No time was spent with TV or cell phones
Just spent their time writing poems

Arkansas Hideaway
We are back from Arkansas
It was great without a flaw
We enjoyed the twins and Tanner
They deserve a good behavior banner
Brent was the photographer
You may see a fish caught by Tanner
A former occupant left a black bra hanging in a tall pine
We considered leaving a depends of mine

Vacation
Two loads of Woods will meet the Gierhart reunion will be in Hot Springs
Marni's family will be there to entertain
It has been a long I am sure they have changed
Planning to be back Thursday

Knowledge
I have learned a lot about life, love, old age and etcetera
Which means there are some things I ain't telling ya'
Like how it feels to be a widow
Maybe you will never have to know

Worry
If you are one who likes to worry and stew
This is the decade made for you
A new disaster in the headlines every day
Big depression on the way
Volcanic eruptions infect our air
Floods and earthquakes every where
Identity thieves are irking
Fraud and deception a very common thing
Oil slicks are ruining our vacations
They say that will last for generations
Surely we will reach the end to gloom and doom

Happy Birthday to Me
I am 92 today
It has been easy most of the way
Two heart surgeries and a ton of pills
Has helped me through the valleys and hills
TLC by my whole family
And all my friends at this facility

Writers
The puzzle was something about a writers best friend
It was a hard one to comprehend
The answer was the best one yet
His own wastepaper basket

Words
I love word puzzles and puns
I think poems are fun
There is a name for that I just heard
I am a word nerd

Mother's Day
You work all day
You don't get paid
You're a Mom
At night you stay awake
Until all the kids are safe
You're a Mom
On Mother's Day you go out to eat
An finally rest your weary feet
You're a Grandma

Assisted Living
Hurried footsteps in the hall
May mean someone is sick or has taken a fall
Hurried footsteps in the night
May only man someone is keeping us very clean
Early morning footsteps means almost without fail
There is a paper in my mail

Real Pearls from Hawaii
You may want to call me Barb
I will be wearing pearls with every garb
They were special delivered by Dave and Debbie
You will see them about every time that you see me

My Advice to Children
Never with your teacher my child
She is smart and never gets riled
She is also very clever ---- and
She has the answer book in her hand

Tomorrow
Lord. give me another tomorrow I pray
To do some things I should have done today
Give my sister a get well call
Changed the calendar on the wall
Put winter clothes beneath the bed
Boots on the shelf overhead
I need another tomorrow
I am going to bed just now

Gone with the Wind
There goes my hairdo
And my silk scarf too
I really do not like these March winds
Except that it means winter soon ends

Good Intentions
I truly have some good intentions
To organize all my photo albums
I may need some help to identify all the faces
And figure out all the places
I will write their names o the back
So future generations can keep track
I am going to start tomorrow
I know I need to do so!!!!!

Victims Beneath the Rubble
Much to often we are hearing about victims beneath the rubble
Often they are innocent but too often by their own troubles
Lives can be ruined by earthquakes
Often by our own mistakes
Lives can be ruined by earthquakes
Often just by our own mistakes every day

Regulating the Irregularity
A visit to my heart doctor brought a new concern
Some new pills to take
Some old ones to take away
Now I will have to adjust
Because the doctor says I must
I am feeling fine
So I'll just toe the line

Early Sunday Morning
Just when I need it most
Along with my coffee an toast
My favorite radio station has "Blues at Sunrise"
You done me wrong songs --the crying kind
"You Ain't Payin' Me No Mind"
A perfect time for some gospel music you
would certainly suppose
That would sound so good on my Bose

Winter 2010
We all have cabin fever
With no promise of a break in the weather
One big snow followed by another big snow
All travel is cancelled so there is no place to go
Spring will be a welcome sight this year
Happy day when the roads are clear

Spelling Bee
Every other Saturday ,we have a spelling bee
Everyone has fun especially me
It is never too late to learn something new
It is what I like to do
Now I know there is no e after the g in judgment
There is no e after the t in lightning
(Today I spelled unconscious wrong)

A Poet
According to this morning's cryptogram
One who stands out in the rain
Hoping to be struck by lightning
I guess in order to have an idea for his writing
Today he would be standing in the snow
Looking for a warm place to go

Poem
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree
But trees grow old and lose their limbs
Often uprooted by strong winds
The printed poem may fade and turn yellow
But the words remain soft and mellow

2010 Earthquakes
Are our children and grandchildren are safe as they once were
Are we just waiting for another quake to occur
I am going to my grandsons for ham and beans and fried potatoes---wow
You just cannot beat that for now

Keeping in Touch
It is hard to keep in touch
When you have not been doing much
We haven't seen the ground this year
I have not been anywhere
We are safe from wars and earthquakes 
Not too many pains and aches

Hospital Visit
Had a few things go wrong
Went to the ER but not for long
The nurses had fun
But I had none
I'll be right back
Doesn't mean exactly that
But they had their instructions
And I got plenty of attention
It wasn't meant to be a vacation
I am ready once more for some recreation

The Wood Family
Casually reviewing the Adron Wood family tree
There are some recurring themes
The boys like striving for a hole in one
The girls like music and books when the day is done
All are good natured and enjoy good health
History may repeat as an interesting fact
I played trombone in the IU Girls band in 1936
Multitalented Great Grandson Hunter plays first chair trombone at his school without a hitch
I may never attend a concert
But wouldn't that  be great

New Year at Assisted Living
The reveling started at seven and was over at eight
For me at least it was getting late
We had hats and horns to set the mood
A variety of delicious snack food
Cocktails of bubbly apple cider
For all of us it could not have been nicer
Happy New Year

No Fly List
I am not hearing much from my email list
When I don't send a poem that may be one of the risks
I had to think hard for a subject but here goes
This is for fun and not for the prose
If Debbie and I fly to see Little Debbie
We probably should do it promptly
Rumor has it all passengers may be asked to fly nude
That could change our attitude

Rehab
It's midnight and I am wide awake
I turn on public radio and the music is great
It is like a refresher course in music appreciation
The only credit is the satisfaction
Seldom heard symphonies by the master
musicians of long ago
I love the public station on my Bose radio

Food for Thought
Now that Thanksgiving is just a memory
Are you cutting your turkey sandwiches straight across or diagonally
A turkey sandwich is still just a turkey sandwich
No matter how you cut it will do in a pinch

I am sure you have not the slightest doubt
I have really run out of things to write poems about!

Facing the Facts
Another message that another friend had died
I sat on the edge of my bed and cried
Just as families are gathering
To enjoy another Thanksgiving
Seems a little sadder and harder to bear
But we never know when or where

My Ship
My ship came in a longtime ago
Bringing treasures beyond measure to all my household
A few misfortunes seem like minor distractions today
Life was great that is all I can say
My ship sailed away
I am here now to stay
If I am not in my room
I will be there soon

Retirement
As long as you gave a mother
You will always be a kid to her
You may be retired and ready to rest
Just enjoy the empty nest
It does not always work that way
May find it hard to find time for play
Happy retirement Brent
Time will fly by no matter how it is spent

Modeling
I have another style show assignment
Winter styles from the Dress Barn is the event
Since I am now more experienced I thought I should get more pay
But the boss said no way
It will be week after next in our dining hall
If you want reservations you may call

Years and Years
I like to hear a gasp of disbelief
When I say I am 91 and a half
That doesn't really happen as often as I like
As I get older and older maybe it might

Trivia
Trivia is a game we play
Just to pass the time of day
Some are easy and make us laugh
Like how many legs does a horse have
Some are hard and make us ponder hard and long
Like who was president when you were born
No one knows if we are right or wrong

Bad Day Bad Joke
The Dr. finally came with the test results
Seemed nervous as he took his pulse
You only have 24 hours to live I am sorry to say
And I should have told you yesterday

Gossip
Overheard while shopping
"I have a policy of never saying anything
about anyone unless it is something good.
And boy is this good!"

Hilary Hurst Memorial
Birds of a feather all flocked together
Said goodbye to their leader
We were not one of them but hey always let us in
Ann's review of his faithfulness in her eulogy
Is now a part of history done so perfectly

Wellness Fair
I went to the Wellness Fair
About a dozen Home Health agents were there
They passed out literature about how to stay well as we get older
Home Health workers help us stay in touch with our doctor
Lots of door prizes made it more fun
I won two big baskets of mums
Which I gave to each of my sons

Statistics
There are facts and there is faction
Then there are reports by statisticians
People are healthier during hard times
No money to spend on unhealthy excesses
It should come as no surprise
Suicides are on the rise

Designer Babies
I have heard about designer clothes
What is this I hear about designer babies
The birds and bees method worked fine for me
I loved the character of all three
Hair color also suited me just fine
I might have designed for the boys to hold on to their hairline

Childhood
I just visited with my only sister for two days
We are so alike in so many ways
Neither are able to travel anymore
Even the simplest things are now a chore
We are both now in Assisted Living Homes
We talk often on our phones
Face to face is so much better
We were both full of memories of our mother
How she was always helping some neighbor
Times were tough
But she managed to have enough

Lesson in Grammar
My little boy who is now retired
Came in from the yard
"I seen I seen," he stammered
"I saw  I saw," I corrected his grammar
"Where was you when you seen it?"  He wanted to know

Oops
I wrote a poem about grammar
And actually misspelled grammar
Now I am wondering
Have I misspelled misspell
My smart granddaughter is my editor
I will leave it up to her

Cicada Mania
I sit on the patio in the evening
Listen to the cicada sing
My curiosity got the best of me
I turned to my faithful Web TV
Found eight pages of FAQ  (frequently asked questions)
The cicada is very unusual
Especially if you are a curious individual
The answers  to the questions
Were sometimes true and some were legends

Family Albums
One thing about divorce
Never ever considered of course
Only a grandma really knows
How it messes up her family photos

Things Not To Do at 91
Don't be stingy with thank you and love you
Just thinking them will not do
Don't put off sending your seldom worn clothes to Goodwill today
That is where they will no doubt go any way
Don't forget to look around
Someone lonesome can be easily found
Don't buy bananas that are not ripe
Or fix more than one slice of toast at a time
Don't put off until tomorrow that poem in your head
That may be your best one yet

Old Age
All the people my age are older than I
At least that is worth a try
I find it so hard to believe it is true
All the things I have lived through

Hyphens and Apostrophes
When emailing I can never see
Where to find a hyphen or apostrophe
I do not use contractions for that reason
And I just leave out the hyphens
Laura corrects my mistakes for me
She does it all for free

Mystery Mouse
There is excitement at Assisted Living every night
A mouse comes into sight
Going under the doors everywhere
Traps are set that are ignored with care
Not one one calling card has been sighted by anyone
The night shift workers are kept on the run
Maintenance man is pulling out his hair
He has never seen anything to compare

Capital Gains
I got a check from ISTA today
Now I can go to CVS and IGA
First I will check my emails on MSN TV
Hear the news on NBC
Tonight I will listen to PRI and Prairie Home
Sunday I will go to FCC to give me hope
Monday when I have nothing else to do but cry
I can always go to the Y

Ants in My Pantry
If it is not one thing it's another
Now I have ants in my cupboard
Not just one or two but a lot
Invisible to me I see them not
They seem to be after the crumbs in my toaster
I'll have to watch that a little closer
So they won't completely take over
Not nearly as bad as a mouse
But not something you really like in the house

Of Mice and Women
It is bad enough to see a mouse in the garden
But worse to see one dart across the bedroom carpet
All kind of visions dance in your head
What if that darn thing would get in your bed
That actually happened to Nellouse today
I can safely say
She will not sleep well tonight

Computer Problems
Often when I have trouble with my Web TV
All my family get an SOS from me
They get together and solve the problem
I am so lucky to have them
I am lost without those emails every day
I usually have a lot I want to say

Pickles in my Pocket
Bread and Butter pickles go well with almost any meal
So much better than the usual dill
So I take a few in a zip-lock bag
This plan becomes a bit of a drag
And actually has a bit of a snag
I small a lot like pickle juice
Not the fragrance most would choose

Senior Living
The biggest problem here is staying well
Whether we are or not is hard to tell
A good doctor comes whenever we call
If we run a fever or happen to fall
A home health nurse makes weekly visits
Makes her report on what she finds may exist
Care givers check us out and gives us medicine as needed
I do my own eye drops three times each day
Check my sugar level so it doesn't run away
I can also now check my own blood pressure
Take a walk at my own pleasure
By the time we eat three times each day
Not much time is left for play
We wear a locket with a call bell n it
If a sudden stroke or something worse should hit
All in all we could note ask for more
Bingo and other activities keeps life from being too much of a bore

The Empty Chair
Last Sunday we sat on folding chairs in the Fellowship Hall
While the auditorium was undergoing an overhaul
There were two empty chairs on the end of a row
The one beside me stayed vacant---why I do not know
That empty chair shook my composure
That I try so desperately to wear
My life seemed suddenly to have no purpose
As when there was two of us

My TIA
I'm giving myself an A on my Transient Ischemic Attack
Almost all of my energy is back
No, more slurring to slow down my speech
thank goodness
I can walk a straight line more or less
My short-term memory may be a little shorter
Remembering what I was just
told is a little harder
You may need to write down important things
Maybe I'll get back in full swing

Now I Know
Woman's work is about done
When she reaches 91
Cooking, cleaning and babysitting
Are now a part of your history
I can take care of myself barely
Family gatherings are fun especially since not cooked by me
My great grand children are already about as smart as me
What a future theirs can be

All About Me
     I write a poem about every day
Gives me a chance to say what I want to say
It cheers mp and maybe some of you too
Otherwise we may get a little blue

The Way Life Is
No two people are exactly alike
Even if they are both named Mike
So to be original just be yourself
No one has your features, your wealth or your health
Only you can control the future
But you cannot change the past that is for sure

Fathers Day
Fathers Day will be very sad
We will all miss good ole Dad
Since I lost my mate
Makes me wonder about my fate
Which of my ailments will be final
What existing disease may prove to be fatal
Then my short term memory comes in handy
And I think of all the little things that still make me happy

Wind Chimes
The beautiful chimes are on the gazebo among the flowers and birds
Thanks to the coworkers where Josh works
What a really nice thing to do
Just to say say they were thinking of you

Generations
Those were the days my family and friends
We foolishly thought they would never end
But generations just come and go
How or when we seem not to ever really know

My Birthday
I am 91 today
I woke up early with some new aches I didn't have yesterday
My right wrist hurts and I have a limp in my right foot
My cough is better but still not so good
I could say I am doing great
At any rate I can still walk and talk

  Josh
Thanks for your great job at the memorial
It was a bright spot in the ceremonial
I am giving you your grandpa's two dollar bill
You may never find another one
Nor a grandpa who was so much fun

Widows
Widows can be found everywhere
Wherever you go they are there
At church or at the mall
Most are old but some are young some are short and some are tall
They have a built in smile
While hurting inside all the while
Some are left with children  in their care
In today's world that is quite a dare
They can tell you exactly how long their husband has been gone
Life just keeps on gong on

VIVIE and NADIA
The twins are now four months old
We wouldn't trade them for silver or gold
Right now they both have a problem it is plain to see
There are two babies but only one mommy
Soon they will love having a playmate all day long
Bit now sharing mommy is just plain wrong

Home
I tried to walk through my house today
Without stepping on a talking toy or a baby napping
The babies are different and so are the toys
Little Debbie wanted Dave to draw her a bear
Taking a look, she said   That's not a bear!
The women were laughing and telling kid jokes
There is nothing like being at home with home folks

Summertime in Indiana
Frosty the Snowman has been melted away
Replaced by wildflowers in finest array
Sounds of the snow plows replaced by lawn mowers everywhere
Farmers at roadside stands to sell their wares
Children are playing free at last
Grades and homework are a thing of the past
Snow suits stored and replaces by t-shirts and shorts and shorts
Baseball is always the favorite sport
No more worry about frostbite
Sunburn can happen with the sun so bright
Grandparents house is a popular place to go
They are back from the warm south and out of the winter snow
Covered Bridge Festivals where crowds flock in
Eat the food and probably go back again

Table Talk
According to my casual survey
Doctors are quoted more than anyone today
What my doctor said  is oft repeated
Maybe a little more than needed
MY DOCTOR said I was in very good condition
And I didn't tell a single one!!

Thought for Today
Maybe it is because I am such a ham
I love the daily cryptogram
Thomas Edison once said he had never failed his whole life long
He had just found ten thousand ways to be wrong

Our Plans
You can live a clean and wholesome life
Free of sin and emotional strife
See your doctor and take your pills
Enjoy living with very few ills
Have a family that you love dearly
And a hobby makes your days go by quickly
Alzheimer's can strike without warning
Your life stops but you are still breathing
There is still that promise we believe is true
Everything old ill be made new

Cycles
In the beginning
It is our parents on which we depend
In the end our children jump in
In between we do our own adlibbing
Often we just follow our peers and do whatever they're doing
Very few enter the Hall of Fame
Be happy with your life is the name of the game

Morning Paper
I have a friend who often reads my paper
When he hands it back the pages are always in the right order
Now that's the kind of friend I need
I am not so good at being neat

My Role
Now that I am older and stricken with age
I think of the earth and sky as a stage
We each have a role to perform
Maybe a purpose for which we were born
Our choice is whether to follow the script
That can be found in a book called a Bible

My Wardrobe
Every morning it takes me a long time to dress
I guess I have too many clothes I confess
I usually change at least one or twice
I may just decide that just doesn't look nice
Or I may have something on backwards or inside out
The colors are wrong no doubt
I notice a food stain on my blouse
Whatever it is it won't come out
I like to get up early so I can take my time
What ever I wear the choice is mine

    8 Easy Ways I Can Get In Trouble
1. Clean my own carpet
2. Cut my own hair
2. Give my daughter a perm
4. Hunt golf balls
5. Alter my own clothes
6. Try a new recipe on special guests
7. Trimming neighbors vines on our eaves
8. Ignoring the no bleach label

WebTV
I can hardly ever explain anything I do
I have no idea how I ever started sending emails to all of you
When I was 82 I bought myself a WebTV
It seemed to be the very thing for me and my poor vision
All I needed was some supervision
Laura corrected all my mistakes
Encouraged me in lots of ways
Now I have a new large digital screen
I'm seeing things I have never seen
If I don't run out of things to write about
Emails will keep coming so look out

Self Pity
Lately I've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself
That's really not good for anyone's health
I shall try hard not to do that any more
And lessen my chances of becoming a big bore

Thought for the Day
The daily cryptogram give me something to start each day
Joyce Brothers was the author today
Marriage is not just spiritual communion
Remembering to take out the trash always strengthens the union

Skin Care
I have some skin care products
Which cost my daughter a few bucks
It says right there in the directions
For a fresh youthful complexion
By now I should be seeing a big change in me
But I did note there was no guarantee

Editorial Cartoons
My reading has been curtailed by my vision
I get the news in a nutshell in the morning edition
On one side was college student flipping hamburgers to pay his way
He was shown on the other frame as a college grad still flipping away

Facing the Facts
How easy it is to take a good life for granted
How quickly it may all be ended
A Nursing Home was just a place to make
a courtesy call
On a friend made bedfast by a fall
Suddenly it is a part of our existence
Nothing really makes much sense
We can just put our trust in the Lord
And depend solely on His Word

  Connecting
I work the daily cryptogram
To see how connected I still am
And if my connectors are still connecting
How out of touch I may be getting
This morning I passed the test
Even though my short term memory might
not be the best
After all the years of wear and tear
I enjoy the emails that we share

Our Texas Trip
Our trip to Texas
Was a great success
Dave ,Debbie, dog Daisy and me
Got along together famously
We all took turns rocking the twins
Our first stop was in Austin to see them
Laura and Little Debbie were waiting in San Antonio for us
Along with other family and friends
We have lots of pictures and stories to tell
Through it all we all stayed well

My Valentine
Saw my husband in high school
I thought he was really cool
He really struck my fancy
He soon became my fiancé
I thank God forever after
We lived and loved long years together

Guest Poem by Eleanor Bottorff

A Memory by Eleanor

It seems like just yesterday
Not very far away
The Day that my feet wouldn’t stay on the ground

Running down Center Street
Dancing and prancing feet
Skipping and tripping feet
Feet that just barely were touching the ground.

Slamming the old screen door
Of Young’s well-stocked grocery store
Mom’s gentle smile before
Trying to calm me and settle me down

People turning and staring
But I was not caring
The news I was sharing
Could not be held in

What’s the very best thing
Yes the grooviest thing
The most exciting thing
That ever could be?

It may sound absurd
But I just got the word
That someone has heard
Guess who’s moving back?

It’s Bernice and Adron
And my buddy Adra Ann
It’s Brent and it’s Dave and
They’re moving back here!

It seems like just yesterday
Not very far away
The day that my feet would not stay on the ground

  Decades
As I look back on our long life together
I think in decades instead of one year after another
Our kids always remembered every birthday and anniversary every ten years
The end of another decade will soon be here
My book is finished and my scrapbook is full
That has kept my life from being dull
So many of our family and friends are not here any more
Discontent can make a rich man poor
I can not say I am happy but there must be some purpose
So why cry and fuss

Choices
You can pick your friends and the clothes you wear
You can pick the way you wear your hair
You can pick an apple or a rose
But never never pick your nose

2009
Year 2009 may be the year of the great decline
The biggest depression for a long time
The poor will get poorer and the rich will too
New problems to watch out for will come into view
Watch out for stalkers and identity thieves
All kinds of new ways to cheat and deceive
My peers say the last depression was a good experience in a lot of ways
Happy New Year come what may

Small Town USA
Adron and I came from the small town Winslow
Their team was called the Eskimos
Most of them had nicknames
Big crowds came to all their games
There was Hoggie, Froggie and Weepy John
The more ridiculous the more they stuck on
Adron was once called Hadicol
How that happened I simply do not recall
He was the captain of the team
Those are fond memories to redeem

Happy Day
We have twin boys that are now four
Now twin girls who could ask for more
They arrived today safe and sound
Each one weighed a little over four pounds
Marni said it was a piece of cake
Not the usual remark for a new mother to make
Two great grandmothers are as happy as can be
To have their names added to the family tree
Beto now has a little girl for each knee
You both probably knew you would get a poem from me